Stoned: Our Saturday in Monroe, NJ

Saturday graced us with clear sunny skies and temperatures in the low 80s, so Andrew and I were excited to go on an adventure. The Stone Museum had come up in various google searches for scenic places in NJ so we thought it would be a perfect place to welcome spring.

Unfortunately, Google Maps screwed us over (like it does on so many of our adventures) and we could not find the exit we were supposed to take. Hilarity ensued. Actually, painful traffic and hillbillies is really what followed. We found ourselves lost in the traffic for Englishtown Auctions*, a mecca of all that is white trash: garage sales, flea markets, car shows and a race track. Once we turned down this one lane road, there was no way to get off of it and we idled for over an hour while a fat kid sold COKE and DIET COKE on the corner. “A buck each, two for $1.50.”

Somehow, we made it out of the mess and managed to find the Stone Museum. I wish I could say things got more classy but what we found was rather bizarre.

The Stone Museum is set up to be a banquet hall for weddings, but it also seems to be a huge ad for the owner’s construction and home renovation business. The exhibits are before and after pictures of renovations he’s done and the hands on part for the kids teaches them about different types of mulch.

There are also dinosaurs and a military helicopter. But that makes perfect sense.

On the surface, the banquet/lake area are breathtaking: large, lush and secluded.

But once you start walking around, you notice that things are pretty eerie. Wood is rotting, there are large trailers covered in black tarps behind fences and the place was devastatingly empty. To the point where even Andrew was freaked out.

Don't go down there!!

The large “rock” formation on the left turned out to be some sort of death chamber.

For the most part, the flowers were fake and gaudy but we did manage to find some great spots to sit and enjoy some pretty views.

By the end though, we were happy to start on the long trail home:

Andrew was a dear and held my purse the whole time so I could strike poses like this one:

We managed to have a great time (due to the great company) despite all the creepiness.

*The website for Englishtown recommends you bring the following: notebook, sunscreen, sun/rain hat, fanny pack, and a plastic poncho. I don’t think it needs to be said that any place that endorses and encourages the use of a fanny pack is white trash.


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